Growing Pains

I wanna be a kid forever
I don't wanna grow up
But then again
As my mind matures and evolves, thoughts become much more than mere
I'm now more complicated than ever before
Complex beyond belief
Factors overwhelm me
Once nonexistant factors
And I realize I must give in
I must give in in order to satisfy this mind of mine
Is it mine?
Yes it is
How do I know if I do not know myself?
With the faint idea of who I wish to be, I begin to mold
I stop when I reach a quality I cannot obtain
Its too far because the me that was made in 1992 will never leave completely, it will only be altered slightly
The me I hate at times for interfering with who i see
Who I wish to be
A little bit of this a little bit of that
Throw it in a pot and out I come
At this point, I'll admit it, I want something more
Because the call of desires can't be ignored
The mind of the child I wish to be is incapable of feeling these emotions that crowd the thoughts of today's me
Todays me is in search of satisfaction
Maybe love
A happiness that can't be fulfilled with a laugh or a giggle
A game in which the rules are simple
What would make me happy is a story seperate to this but the point is
I can't control my attractions and I can't push aside my needs
And what today's me needs, yesterday's me can't comprehend
So I guess I have to grow up.